My top 10 things to do instead of writing/outlining:
   (from most minor to most frequent)

10. edit my LJ entry tags.
 9.  scan fifteen year old artwork.
 8.  play with my daughter's WebKinz (she asked me to during daddy's week).
 7.  surf LJ for new userpics.
 6.  surf amazon and my library's online site for new books to read.
 5.  watch cartoons.
 4.  cleaning.
 3.  post to LJ.
 2.  Facebook.
 1.  Reading, reading and more reading.

I got back from an outing yesterday, and brought home ten books from the library.  I've read one, started three others, but keep losing my focus.  Rachel Caine's Glass Houses just couldn't keep me interested, same with Silver Bough by Lisa Tuttle, so I had to settle for Night Lost by Lynn Viehl, which I managed to finish, and now I'm onto Fool Moon by Jim Butcher.  I tell myself it's research since I'm writing in this genre, but I know I'm really procrastinating.  

I think I'll go dye my hair, and outline after dinner...

the other day, my youngest (she's still in diapers, sigh) said to me:

I'm a baby alligator.
Really, I replied.
Yup.  I'm a baby alligator.  Baby alligators eat babies!

I gacked this from thinkmonkey



now the funny bit, I had a photo of me the site wouldn't recognize, but which I think totally looks the closest the Jean Harlow's.

totally bizarro.  the channel on tv, the canadian discovery channel, just played a commercial I remember from my childhood, for cereal (it's almost 10 pm).   

Okay, so this evening, while soon-to-be ex was rearranging his 'bedroom' (the kids' toy room with a fold out couch), he gets a phone call.  I can tell it's a guy, no biggie.  He says it's a mutual friend, and that he rather thought S (an exfriend who wants to sleep with my almost ex) had shared the tale of our separation, and that this guy wanted to do some male bonding.  Okay.  I don't really care.  B goes out almost every night anyway, I haven't a clue where, and I've finally stopped being hurt by it.  It's a good reminder of how things are changing.

anyway.

I've convinced my mom to do nanowrimo with me this year, and I wanted to show her the website.  Since I was doing stuff on mine, I decided to load up the site on B's computer.  He'd left his email browser open.  S had left him an email, telling him a date & time to be at a certain coffeeshop.  (half an hour before he left).

So I'm thinking.  He obviously didn't see the email, which meant S was stewing alone at the coffee shop.  Instead of calling herself, she convinces a mutual friend to call for her.  B takes off.  I didn't hear the conversation, so I don't know if B was told on the phone that it was a ruse, or if it was being kept from him until he got there.

I can't believe how juvenile this is.  Like what, I'm going to be hateful to B because he's going to meet with S?  Sorry, but I believe my almost ex when he says it's over between us.  I tried to win him back, it failed, now we move on.  Gods, how it hurts, but I do acknowledge it.

The worst part is that we've been here before.  Another female 'friend' was emailing and talking with B behind my back, and we almost broke up then.  I'm glad we didn't, because I wouldn't have had my youngest, and I love her so much.  I can't imagine not having her in my life!

But really, hiding this stuff behind my back, when we've already broken up?  Yes, we're still living together, if by that you understand that he sleeps in a different room, we only talk when others are around, and he spends most evenings out.  We spend maybe ten minutes alone together, and we spend that time trying not to talk about anything personal.  

And I'm the one told to grow up!

you know, looking at my calendar to the right, I notice a certain visual pattern developing.  If I skip posting tomorrow, then get back to to it for the 16 - 19th, then skip till the 21st, it'll definately be a full fledged pattern.  I may just be shallow enough to do it, too!