I know, I should quit changing my bloody theme here, but I can't help it!  It's the season for something purdy and jolly, so I've gone with this one for the next few weeks, then in January I'll go back to the cute Mad Lab one.

I've decided to go back to doing an actual outline for this novel.  Scary.  I was trying to write it adlib, and finding stuff being left out or forgotten.  so back to outlining it is!

Lemme think... now that the tree and mantel are decorated, we've kinda given up on everything else, sigh.  which is just as well.  We moved here in September, and we still have tons of boxes everywhere.  So I guess I know what I'll be doing when procrastinating from writing!  (though today I cleaned instead of unpacking OR writing).

Oh, and I watched Next, it was entertaining though not a great movie.  I just find Nicolas Cage very creepy (and not in a good Tim Burton kind of way).

It's shaping up to be a good christmas/yule, etc.  There are tons of gifts under the tree, the girls (2 & 6) are both quite excited about Santa visiting tonight ('he's' already been), the stockings are stuffed, and I'm watching that great sentimental seasonal movie, The Ref.  

"From now on, the only person who gets to yell is me. Why? Because I have a gun. People with guns get to do whatever they want. Married people without guns - for instance - you - DO NOT get to yell. Why? NO GUNS! No guns, no yelling. See? Simple little equation." 

"Your husband ain't dead, lady. He's hiding." 

and 

"Grandma's chewing through her gag."

my body tells me I should be at work right now.  covering the sandwich meats and deli salads with plastic wrap, in fact.  Or distressing them... I can't remember right now, lol.

I spent a fair bit of mullah on my kiddies today; wheee!  it's fun to do xmas/solstice shopping, other than I have to get over the weirdness of buying almost ex a prezzie.  Yeah, in the spirit of the season, we're giving each other gifts.  I haven't a clue what to get him... and no, an ice pick in the back isn't right either.  

I've gotten used to not being married, sort of.  I miss the companionship, and I think it's a real bummer that he thinks I'm still wanting him back and therefore won't be in the same room with me for longer than necessary.  Oh well.  His loss.

I'm doing better at socializing with my co-workers and customers.  Sort of.  In my less than self-confident moments, I have to think that some of my co-workers think I'm inept.  And one girl, who was initially quite friendly, now gives me the cold shoulder whenever we meet.  I don't know why.  It bugs me, but hell, who needs her?  I don't know why, I honestly can't think of what I did to alienate her, but it's not my problem.  we can work together without being friends or even friendly.  So who cares?

I'm also managing to chat up the customers on occasion; it's fun, which is weird.  I'd forgotten how nice it can be to just have a casual conversation with a complete stranger.  It's slowly coming back to me though.  The last 'real' job I had was selling clothes in Lake Louise; this isn't much different, really, other than people at the grocery store tend to know what they want!  a definate plus.

I still need to develop a social life.  but it's slightly less than one week till xmas.  I should probably wait till after new years to find various venues to explore.   I'm still seriously thinking about toastmasters.  they'd make public speaking (like, my job????) easier, as well as making friends.

I'm thinking of putting up a profile too in some of the online dating sites; but not yet, we're not legally separated (still) and that's not fair to either me or the guy in question.  assuming there ever was a guy.

gotta think positive.  I've been reading tons of books on how to make friends, but remembering it is hard.  I get out in public, and I automatically hunch my shoulders, I don't smile and I duck away from meeting people's eyes.  Yeah, I have a lot to work on.  Fortunately, working with customers is really fixing that too.  I tell myself to check out what colour people's eyes are, and that really helps.

anyway, I haven't anything to rant about, or rave over either (though I did just read 'My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding', which is pretty good), so I'll sign off and consider trying to get to bed early.  I'll probably be working tomorrow night (or I might be switching shifts with a co-worker) and so I'll need a good night's rest behind me.